How To: Introduction, Empathy Selling

This is the initial offering of a regular column for sales professionals. It will address both quick tips and sales methodologies aimed at any direct sales person, but more specifically, to be integrated into complex, consultative selling situations, particularly those that require the use of inside influencers to effect outcomes.

The early focus will be one-on-one, situational selling. The methodology provided is to begin seeing every interaction in the sales cycle as an opportunity to influence positive outcomes through empathy, use of leverage and the ability to perceive situations with clarity. Several techniques will be provided in future installments to get your prospect's attention and to put them in the right mental 'rolodex' to help.

Empathy selling. The key to influencing successful outcomes is to understand empathy selling. Simply, empathy is the ability to place yourself in the other guy's shoes; deliver your message and sit back as your prospect and see if there is an immediate 'win' in it for him/her.

Influencing outcomes starts with finding the 'win' for everyone involved in the sales process. Often this will extend to people in your own company as well as your prospect's. Empathy selling is the key to getting each individual buyer and influencer on their own terms, acting to achieve your end, moving toward their own personal and unique 'win' in that situation.

When you approach every interaction (phone call, meeting, e-mail, fax, proposal) from the perspective of your buyer, you build clarity into your process. Too many great ideas, presentations and demonstrations are sunk based on who's self-interest is emphasized.

How to apply empathy: I recruit people. Essentially, I am in a selling role where the entire transaction takes place without me in the room. My 'product' has his own agenda, can waffle, withhold information vital to the transaction, change his mind or shoot himself in the foot. These are givens. I have no control over that.

I can only control my interactions with my clients and candidates before and after their interactions. Empathy is my chief tool to recognize the win for both sides, set up successful outcomes, facilitate meetings and close transactions.

Often, my primary buyer is the Hiring Manager, but there are many hidden influencers in his company that can 'say no' to a hire, but not actually influence a 'yes'. Getting to the 'win' with these influencers vastly enhances my 'wins' in the entire process. Neglecting, ignoring or working around them is a fatal error.


1. Introduction, Empathy Selling
2. Adjustments
3. Break down the transaction
4. Focus Power, Daniel-san!
5. Sell an Asteroid to Captain Kirk
6. Can’t build a bridge? Build a pipeline--Can’t tear down a wall? Build a ramp.
7. Employ Empathy Marketing for Biz Dev
8. Empathy Selling, Mastery is Transparency
9. Empathy Selling, Stir of Echoes
10. Empathy Selling – Why Empathy Works